Guzzling a cool Gin Tonic in Key West is priceless, just like staring at the big statues on Easter Island, getting shot in Monterrey or fighting diarrhea in Manaus. This is the moment to make it happen. Yes, the summer vacations are coming up in Berlin and Brandenburg. Let’s get out of here right now.
We have a big advantage: Berlin and Brandenburg are the first two federal states to start their summer vacations. What this means is that the Autobahn will be free. Well, it would be, if there weren’t 3.7 million Berliners and 2.5 million Brandenburgers who want to use it too.
The options: Either get stuck in enormous traffic jams for many hours. This option is not so bad, unless your engine overcooks. Or leave at 3 a.m.. There is nothing better than a free Autobahn, except thousands of other vacationers will have the same stupid idea.
O.k., forget the Autobahn. Put some money on the table and get out of the city by plane. Splendid! Yes, this could have been the right move for those who can afford it, if there weren’t a total of 5 million people who will be leaving from, and arriving at, Berlin’s two operational airports during this summer vacation.
Well, at least get there ahead of time for the security check. And leave those fluids and knives at home. No rum, no murder weapons on the plane. Have a good flight to Almaty, Buenos Aires, Chicago, Dusseldorf, Edinburgh or wherever you are going.
Flying is too expensive? You have fear of flying? You listened to Greta Thunberg? Well, take the train. Since most people with that intention probably made their seat reservations for this vacation in 1982, you will end up sitting on the floor, in the aisle, while the other passengers walk right over you.
All of the above is unacceptable? Well, yes. There are two more options: Wait for a week or two until the dust settles. The only problem is that some of the other German provinces will start their vacations then, and they like filling the Autobahn as well. Back to square one.
The one option without any problems is this one: Stay at home. I have three words for you: public swimming pool. Go to Berlin’s parks. Get drunk. Watch Netflix. Write a book. Renovate your apartment.
Whatever you do: Don’t forget to have a nice vacation.