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The Berlin Perspective: Messing Things Up in Fall

Berlin is nice in fall, when it stops raining now and then. But that doesn’t mean we should start selling Christmas products this early, right? By the way: Have you noticed what kind of huge difference a little word can make?

The fall of Berlin is very different from fall in Berlin. Back then, bombs fell out of the sky and unleashed hell. Today, on the other hand, leafs and chestnuts are the only things that are falling. The fuel prices are not, probably because Berlin is starting its two-week fall holiday.

Friendly Welcome Message

After 5 days of rain, which felt like two years, things are starting to dry up a little. While some puddles in Berlin’s parks are so big one would need an inflatable boat to cross them, there is always some mud to ruin our new shoes in. Also, what could be more gratifying than being splashed by idiot drivers? In Berlin, you won’t have to go far to find those.

The Atlantic Ocean is hard to cross. Photo: Imanuel Marcus

Wet or dry, fall is an important tourism season in Berlin. In 2018, as many as 13.5 million of them invaded the city, or more than a million per month. Usually, many come in fall, for the Festival of Lights and other cultural events. Let’s hope they will not step on Museum Island all at once or it might sink.

No, you actually do not. Photo: Imanuel Marcus

Imagine you are a tourist who just arrived in Berlin and the moment you get to your accommodation you read a friendly welcome message saying this on the wall in the entrance: “Airbnb tourists: You suck.” What does the author of those four words want to tell us? That he or she is disappointed because the rents are increasing even further, because of those tourists?

Christmas in October

Guys, that individual is wrong. You may be sucking on a Piña Colada in a fancy bar in Kreuzberg, but you don’t suck the way that Pulitzer Prize-winning graffiti poet meant it. You did not come here to raise rents or eyebrows, but to look at this unique city.

Are you kidding us? Photro: Imanuel Marcus

Welcome to Berlin, no matter whether you booked an elegant room with a view of the TV tower for 76 Euro per night, or a rather messy and artsy chaos in some Neukölln backyard for 25.

By the way: Why in the hell would supermarkets offer Christmas products in early October? The first ‘Christstollen’, that Christmas cake with raisins the Germans love so much, just sold at Aldi. What has the world come to? Over and out.