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The Berlin Perspective: ‘The Berlin Rain is my California Sun’

‘Ich bin ein Berliner.’ Therefore Currywurst is my Sushi. The ‘Quasimodo’ is my Warner Theater. The bike lanes are my Autobahn and ‘Aldi’ is my ‘Trader Joe’s’.

Neukölln is my Brooklyn, Kreuzberg is my Adams Morgan, the Spree is my Potomac. Tegel is my Heathrow, Tempelhof Airfield is my test track. Hasenheide is my Prospect Park, Tiergarten my Central Park. ‘Tretpower Park’ is my ranch, ‘Viktoria Park’ is my Rocky Mountains.

Arc de Triomphe

The Berlin rain is my California sun. Berlin’s hot summers are my beach vacations. The ‘Neukölln’ mess is my chaos on Flatbush Avenue. The ‘Berliner Ring’ is my ‘495’. The ‘KaDeWe’ is my Harrods, the millions of doner kebap stands are my Taco Bell. ‘Bergmannstrasse’ is my Connecticut Avenue, ‘Potsdamer Platz’ is my Hollywood Boulevard, and Brandenburg Gate is my Arc de Triomphe.

The Berlin Wall is my history lesson, Museum Island my Smithsonian. ‘Tegeler See’ lake is my Tidal Basin, ‘Wannsee’ is my Atlantic Ocean and the puddle in the park is my pool. If Brandenburg an der Havel is my Annapolis, what is Potsdam? If Berlin is my universe, the rest of the world is just décor. Well it can’t be. Besides: I’m a Hamburger. With cheese.

My bicycle is my Mercury Grand Marquis. The ‘U-Bahn’ is my horse, the ‘S-Bahn’ my Boeing 747, the bus is my air-conditioned retreat and the ICE bullet train is my Amtrak, which just needs to be sped up a little.

Read my lips: Ich bin ein Berliner. Aren’t we all? Tear down this Wall if you haven’t already. Over and out.