The Berlin Spectator
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Top 10: You Know You Are Sharing Berlin with the Coronavirus When …

Yes, of course the virus is a serious subject. We believe making fun of it for a moment is o.k. anyway. Why would we just stare out the window in a depressive mood, waiting for it to get us?

So, this is proof for the fact that you are sharing Berlin with the virus.

Top 10: You know you are sharing Berlin with the Coronavirus when …


… the emergency operator tells you all ambulances are busy and that she will get back to you in May of 2035.


… your partner insists on placing a Lidl plastic bag between your faces while you kiss.


… the answer to the big evening question is “rice with canned beans” every day, for a year.


… when they start blaming the virus for delayed trains and delayed airport inaugurations, even though everything has always been delayed in Berlin, long before the virus hit.


… your study was converted to a storage room for 28,000 rolls of toilet paper.


… your local supermarket ran out of can openers, and the can opener factory did too.


… the Charité clinic sends patients with Coronavirus symptoms back home during the Coronavirus crisis, even though that hospital supposedly employs some of Germany’s best virologists who should know about the …. yes, the Coronavirus.


… when you catch yourself drowning your Coronavirus worries in six bottles of Corona beer.


… you want to impress your Twitter followers by posting photos of you suffering from Coronavirus symptoms, but you are healthy as a horse.


… they put you in quarantine for 15 years because you coughed at the opera, during the most quiet part of ‘La Traviata’.

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