The elderly among you will remember those days when people did something called ‘going out’. It meant they would get the hell out of their homes to ‘meet people’ and ‘have a good time’.
Back in the days, ‘having a good time’ meant to open the door and get out. We were allowed to do so without permission and without cops warning us of infections. At so-called ‘restaurants’, we would meet friends and eat like combined harvesters.
Those places were great. All you would have to do was to sit down. A person called ‘waiter’ or ‘waitress’ would come to your table within minutes to ask you what you want to eat and drink. The best part was that they brought it to you, exactly as ordered.
‘Meeting people’ was a great concept. It meant that ‘friends’ gathered and talked anywhere they wanted about anything they pleased: The new James Bond movie, the latest gossip, politics or anything. Sure, this kind of thing may seem weird today, but it was good then.
Boom Boom Boom
At ‘concert venues’, one or more people with instruments entered a ‘stage’, an elevated area, to play ‘live music’ in front of others. Those groups of people were called ‘bands’. Well, you have not missed much because most of them were terrible anyway. “Boom boom boom, la la la, boom boom boom”.
Classical concert venues? Even worse. Squeaking violins and predictable melodies would chase more people away than they attracted. People were dressed as if they were in a ‘concert’ or something. The worst anyone ever experienced? ‘Opera’. “Screech, squeal, screech, squeal”.
Eaten by Bears
And there was something called “traveling”. This meant that people actually left their homes to see other cities. Yes, this is how crazy we were. We showed off our new bikinis at ‘beaches’ and climbed piles of rock called ‘mountains’ where we were eaten by bears, sucked dry by mosquitoes, invaded by ticks or all of the above.
The craziest activity ever was ‘shopping’. People would enter ‘stores’ and buy useless bullshit like clothes they would never wear, things called ‘books’ consisting of words printed on paper and other strange items.
Fluids in ‘Bars’
Today, I am following the ‘get up – work – eat – go to sleep’ program and I have to say we were pretty crazy back then, when those weird ‘restaurants’ still existed. We even entered ‘bars’ that offered fluids people would pour down their throats.