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Top 10: You Know You Are Experiencing the Corona Crisis in Germany when ….

Yes, the Corona crisis is damned serious. As you wake up in the morning, you already feel something is not right. Then, a second later, you remember the elephant in the room.

Corona is about as funny as a root canal treatment or a tax inspection. In spite of the seriousness of the s(h)ituation we are all in, or because of it, we decided to make fun of Corona and the main crisis managers once in a while. This does not diminish our empathy with those who are suffering, our worries or our resolve. We will hang in there until this thing is over, right?

However, these are the Top 10.

Top 10: You know you are experiencing the Corona crisis in Germany when …

10

… everyone receives the protective masks you order in China, except for you.

9

… you wish you were Austrian because Chancellor Kurz is reopening consumer electronics stores.

8

… you ‘forget’ to buy public transport tickets because you know ticket inspectors are busy watching Netflix at home.

7

… you drive all the way to Berlin because it is the only spot where book and bicycle stores are allowed to open.

6

… the Ministry of Finance sends you 1.5 million Euro because, due to Corona, you lost your minimum wage job as a cracker salter.

5

… you stare at all of that nonsense on your computer screen and don’t know what month, day or time it is anymore.

4

… you dream you are living through a crisis in which everyone tells you to wear the mask you do not have, and to buy the toilet paper they do not offer anywhere.

3

… you are sick and tired of the words ‘distance’, ‘responsibility’, ‘masks’, ‘contact’ and ‘quarantine’.

2

… you are trying to have sex with your partner while keeping a distance of at least 1.5 meters (5 feet).

1

… Foreign Minister Heiko Maas picks you up from the beach in Zihuatanejo personally.