The Berlin Spectator
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Top 10: You Know You Are at the Airport in the Corona Crisis When …

There are jobs that have become a lot more difficult in the Corona crisis. For instance, airline pilots are going through tough times at the tennis court.

They have to play matches at the Holiday Inn all day long and slurp Gin Tonic in between. And what about agents at airport information desks around the world? They answer one question every two weeks, and it is always the same one: “Why was my flight cancelled?” Nobody knows what in the hell is wrong.

Note: We know the Corona crisis is serious. We are empathetic with those who caught the disease and wish them a speedy recovery. And we are hoping the world, including the economy, will get through it all soon.

However, these are the Top 10.

You know you are at the airport in the Corona crisis when …


… they announce two passenger flights only, namely those which will actually take off this month.


… the origin and the destination of your flight are the same because you are not allowed to go anywhere.


… Boeing does not have to worry about the 737MAX anymore because all models by all manufacturers are basically grounded.


… you tell people you are a Boeing 747 pilot to impress them, but they either start laughing or crying, or both.


… the pilot makes the oxygen masks drop down the minute you enter the aircraft, including his own.


… your flight gets takeoff and landing clearances for all airports on Earth because it is the only one in the sky for the rest of the week.


… you ask the Spanish passenger next to you how to say ‘crown’ in his language, and he does not answer your question.


… you ask a Mexican stewardess what her favorite beer brand is, and she does not give you an answer either.


… you tell an HR specialist at a major airline you want to become a pilot for them and he gives you the finger.


… Lufthansa sells its fourteen Airbus A380 for 9.99 Euro a piece and offers you a package price of 39.99 Euro for all of them.

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