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The Berlin Perspective: ‘Don’t Come to Berlin if You are Already Here’

Berlin. The city of cities. The cradle of civilization. The center of it all. If you are already here, skip the next 336 words. If not, there are more reasons to come here than there are calories in a bottle of Coca Cola.

We have the best 18th-century neoclassical gate. Take our word for it. If any tourists had come here these days, they would have confirmed that thing is beautiful. And they would have been busy walking around the object like a herd of sheep.

High Selfie Rate

Our Gate, the best ever, may not be quite as high at the Space Needle in Seattle or the Iguazú Falls, but it is a lot higher than the luxury ham, cheese and salad sandwich I just ate. It may not be quite as big Arc de Triomphe or the Oracle of Delphi, but it breathes history through all of its pores.

So does our Wall. It doesn’t keep anyone from anything anymore and it lost its function as the GDR’s “anti-imperialist rampart”, but it is the most useful selfie backdrop of all time, and an important symbol for freedom. The selfie rate at East Side Gallery was alarmingly high. It will be again, once you finally return to Berlin.

Kalúa and Beats

Dear tourists, if you are not already here, just jump into the Jag and kick it. We apologize for the Corona break. Now we want you back. Really, we don’t mind the chaos you create at Potsdamer Platz or on Museum Island. Just don’t get run over by a car at Checkpoint Charlie.

We have the best clubs and party crowds. They may not be active these days, but their spirit can still be felt. Just close your eyes, have a Kalúa and listen to an overdose of monotone beats through your headphones at high volume. Believe me: You will even smell the sweating dancers around you.

Berlin is Back

So, were we unfriendly last time you came to our metropolis? Sorry. That’s the way we are. But we will try to improve, right folks? The main formula is ‘BiB’. Berlin is Back. Berlin. The place. The city with a personality. The mesmerizing spot. Just don’t come if you’re already here.