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The Berlin Perspective: ‘Pick Up Your Scrapheap!’

Have you been to Berlin’s Wissmannstrasse lately? A vehicle with British number plates has been parked there for years without moving an inch. Your Polo is still there. You can pick it up.

Why would anyone drive a Volkswagen Polo, in the first place? Because it is inexpensive and economical and still provides some room. This is a Polo GT, an abbreviation that stands for “Gran Turismo” or “Grand Tourer”. It means something like “motoring at speed, in style, safety, and comfort.”

Speed and Style

None of that applies to this automobile which has been standing in Wissmannstrasse for several years. Its 1.2 liter engine will not accelerate this fish can on wheels too well. Besides, this Polo is not exactly an Aston Martin. At least the speed and style aspects can be deleted in this case.

This particular VW Polo has its steering wheel on the right side, namely the left one. This means the car was not built for the United Kingdom, which is where it is – or was – registered. As it turns out, the tax for this vehicle was due in April of 2017 and its MOT status expired half a year later, according to the U.K.’s ‘vehicle enquiry’ website.

The damned car is still here. Photo: Imanuel Marcus

Air Compressor

Plants are already in the process of engulfing this 1990 Volkswagen. Some archaeologist with a machete should cut through the jungle, ideally the owner, to set that vehicle free. You might want to pick up your car. Apart from your machete, bring an air compressor pump. The tires have looked better.

Ready for the big question? Here we go: Why would anyone park his or her car in Wissmannstrasse and never pick it up?

Top 10 Reasons

  • 10. Because the MOT registration expired and there was no way to renew it from Berlin.
  • 9. Because the owner purchased a cow and moved to Mecklenburg-Hither Pomerania. But wouldn’t they bring their Polo in this case?
  • 8. Because that car sucks.
  • 7. Because, after having “a drink or two”, the owner forgot where he or she parked the car. There are 9,500 streets in Berlin. So far, the owner has checked 9,499 of them. Wissmannstrasse is the last one.
  • 6. Because the owner is a love bird and never intended to move the car after moving in with his or her love in Berlin’s Neukölln district.
  • 5. Jeremy Clarkson was going to test this masterpiece of German engineering in Berlin before the BBC fired him. So he left the bloody fish can with the krauts.
  • 4. The owner has been in a coma or in jail for the past four years. Or worse.
  • 3. After parking the vehicle, the owner went to get a pack of cigarettes at Hermannplatz and mysteriously never returned.
  • 2. The owner took a vow. He or she would never drive scrapheaps again, and decided to leave the damned thing in Wissmannstrasse until the end of time.
  • 1. The owner was hoping nobody would interfere with his or her business and just left it there. Tomorrow, he or she will come with a machete and drive the Polo to ‘Kaufland’ in order to buy onions, minced meat and pasta.

To make a long story short: Your car is in Wissmannstrasse. You can come along at any time. It has only been four years. No hurry. But pick up your scrapheap!