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The Berlin Perspective: A Son of a Bitch Called Corona

Enough. It is time to get rid of this thing. So far, many of us have shown how we should not behave while trying to stamp out a virus. Let’s get serious now.

We’re all tired of its name: Corona this, Corona that, Corona cancels concerts, Corona closes businesses, Corona makes us look like a bunch of Martians with our stupid masks and visors. Corona makes us police officers: We are constantly checking whether people around us use their masks properly. Of course, many are not.

Corona Says No

Corona influences our diet. What? No buffet breakfast on Sunday because Corona says so? No restaurant meal because the chef might sneeze or cough in the kitchen? Or because he might touch the Schnitzel with his Corona hands? We won’t take anyone along in our car for day trips because they might pass the son of a bitch on to us.

Corona does not want us to see the world. Salzburg, Sacramento, São Paulo, Singapore? No. Corona will not even let us see each other. When the choice is being connected to a respirator and fighting for one’s life or seeing less people, most of us will go for the latter. But it has already been almost half a year.

Corona Endangers Relationships

Corona does not like our love life either. It makes us stick to those video chat conversations. But those suck and cannot be a real substitute for being together. This damned virus damages and destroys relationships. New ones, which involve young people who do not yet share a long history together, are being ended.

The only favors Corona is doing us? The virus might make us think about life and big questions, it might make us improve things afterwards, once this thing finally goes to hell. And it shows us how autocrats are really programmed. First they deny the existence or danger of the virus until it is too late. Then they get infected themselves, and still deny it.

Getting Serious

Corona has the potential to extend political careers. For instance, more Germans than ever support Angela Merkel and would probably want to keep her as Chancellor. She will be gone from the political stage in a bit more than a year from now anyway. The virus also separates serious politicians from those who just say nothing by talking a lot.

It’s not like nobody warned us of Corona. There was always some scientist who said a pandemic would happen. It was not a question of “if”, but of “when”. In spite of the warnings, we were not prepared. We still aren’t. And the second wave is already hitting countries on the Balkans and elsewhere.

Let’s get rid of the damned virus. No more Corona here, Corona there, no more Corona rule. Let’s be smart, careful and dump the SOB as soon as f*cking possible.