The Berlin Spectator
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The Top 10 Signs You Are Celebrating ‘Corona Christmas’ in Berlin

There are two types of Christmas holidays: One without Corona and one with Corona. The latter does not have to be bad. It is just different, right? Wrong.

Christmas has looked better. This thing is overshadowing it. What was its name again? Yes, Corona. It looks like we might have to consume our roast goose on our own this time. By the way:

You know you are celebrating ‘Corona Christmas’ in Berlin when ….

10

…. the only surprise guests are the police who ask you how many roast geese you are eating and how much distance there is between the Christmas tree and the fridge.

9

…. you catch yourself having a conversation about fire extinguishers and chain saws with your Christmas tree.

8

…. even your dog keeps its distance from you.

7

…. you expected to receive the new iPhone as a gift, but all your are getting is two weird-looking Corona masks and a portrait photo of Jens Spahn.

6

…. you get fined because you got too close to your spouse.

5

…. your roast goose is alive, wears an FPP2 mask and insists on staying in the fridge.

4

…. the Senate classifies your apartment as a Corona hotspot because you sneezed on the way home from your prostate exam.

3

…. the government just cancelled your skiing trip to Bavaria, your hiking adventure in Tierra del Fuego and your brunch at Fisherman’s Wharf.

2

…. Commerce Minister Altmaier calls every five minutes to ask you whether you need money.

1

…. you test positive for being overweight after consuming all the Christmas cookies, gingerbread houses and chocolate Santas you could get your hands on.