The Berlin Spectator
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Berlin’s Top 10 Romantic Places to Visit on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is just the right day for some quality time with your love. With freezing temperatures, and in the middle of the eternal Corona lockdown, the conditions are obviously perfect. Keep your mask on while you kiss.

Berlin is full of perfect spots that are just the right surrounding for nice little strolls with your love. These are ten of them. But watch it.

10

This cupcake marks a very romantic spot indeed, namely Museum Island. Except, this time around, you will freeze your butt off, thanks to the icy wind that conquered Berlin just on time.

9

This ought to be the most romantic intersection in Western Europe. While you inhale Diesel clouds, tell your sweetie how much you love him or her. But shout, or your darling will not hear you in all the construction noise.

8

Berlin’s Neukölln district has just the right atmosphere for a Valentine’s Day walk. You will have to take your love to the damned bakery around the corner. It’s the only food place that is allowed to open.

7

So, you want a spot that is both romantic and sort of warm? Here it is. Some of the most amorous lovebirds have kissed on U-Bahn trains. Do it like them. But you are not allowed to take off your mask.

6

Try a Corona denier protest. If this BS about a “Corona dictatorship” or all of that ‘QAnon’ rubbish is not romantic, what is?

5

A bike ride around Hermannplatz will delight your love and show your inamorata how special she is. Hey! Try to bypass all the trash piles or you will fall off your elegant velocipede faster than you can curse.

4

So, all restaurants are closed? Well, try the sausage stand. Remember: The candlelight dinner is cancelled, thanks to the ‘crown’.

3

Valentine’s Day usually calls for dancing at some discotheque all night long. This year, you will have to sit in your Jag and race into this speed trap repeatedly. It flashes just like disco lights.

2

Oh, you want to take your cutie pie to a nice café for a gulp of coffee and an overdose of sweet talk? Try this intersection. At least it is open.

1

Seriously: Berlin can be very romantic, as you know. We will just have to control our hormones until this big mess is over, right?