The Berlin Spectator
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Top 10: You Know it is Summer in Berlin when …

Hot. Hotter. Even hotter. Berlin. This is pretty bad, folks. When the outside temperature exceeds our body temperature, and when we have become the chicken in the oven, it is definitely time to complain.

Berlin, June 24th, 2019. Update: June 20th, 2021 (The Berlin Spectator) — How do weather forecasters sleep at night? Up to 98 degrees Fahrenheit? Are they kidding us? This is supposed to be northern Europe where people wear sweaters in July, right? Let’s face it: Berlin is a sauna and we are trapped in it. To hell with this! Caution: Some ‘adult language’ ahead.

You know it’s summer in Berlin when …

10

… even the Germans consider installing A/Cs and ceiling ventilators.

9

… the ice tea with ice cubes you just ordered is too hot.

8

… you want to enjoy a view on the Spree river, but burn your thighs on the bench you sit down on.

7

… your cell phone battery, your car battery and your laptop battery just exploded simultaneously.

6

… a pandemic kept you indoors for 16 months, and once the situation finally improves you still can’t go outside due to the damned heat.

5

… your pizza with tuna and onions can be brought straight to the lunch table from the freezer, without the usual deviation via the oven.

4

… you go to the Rewe supermarket fifteen times per day just to cool down.

3

… you register a violent street protest in Kreuzberg in order to get attacked by water cannons.

2

… you need your own nuclear power plant, for your A/C and ventilators.

1

… you can’t concentrate on sh*t because it is too f***ing hot.