Berlin, June 18th, 2020 (The Berlin Spectator) — Here comes the big question: How does one shoot Brandenburg Gate? The answer is the following: We do not know. But we published this Top 10 list anyway. Don’t try this at home. Caution is advised.
10. The Pillar Approach
Just look for some pillars and move your Chinese cell phone camera back and forth like an idiot until you have a good shot. That’s how we did it.
9. The Western Approach
Tired of waiting at the red light? Get that Chinese cell phone out of your pocket, hold it in any direction and shoot. If you are lucky, you will have a nice picture you will be able to show your grandkids during those long winter nights. By the way: Who says the Gate has to be shot from the east?
8. The Pulitzer Approach
So, you feel it is time to get the Pulitzer Prize for stunning photography? Forget it. Just walking over to Hotel Adlon and shooting their flower pot will not get you anything. Take our word for it. We tried.
7. The Artsy Approach
We thought it was artsy to have something standing in the way. This lamp post looks good. Still we messed up the photo and can’t figure out why.
6. The No Standing Approach
Hey, don’t stand in the no standing area. Someone will have to pay for this.
5. The Bing Crosby Approach
This is easy. We just waited for three years, until there was a modest layer of snow. Two seconds later, most of it was gone. We used the Chinese cell phone camera anyway. This is the outcome.
4. The Close Approach
The idea was to do exactly what all those tourists don’t think of. They always want the entire Gate on the photo. And, as you can see, they are right. Most of that thing is missing here.
3. The Police Approach
We approached those police vans from behind, located the release button and pressed it. Just don’t get arrested while trying.
2. The Carousel Approach
Just hold and shoot on Reunification Day.
1. The Message Approach
Brandenburg Gate, a symbol of freedom and democracy, can be identified behind the European flag. The message of the shot is that blue flags look good with the Gate. What was the question again?
