The Berlin Spectator
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Top 10: The Least Sexy Cars on the Streets of Berlin

Some Berliners drive vehicles that deserve to be called cars. But the German capital has to put up with fish cans on wheels and other phenomena as well. Holy cow!

In the modern world, the streets are filled with cars. But which vehicles qualify as such? Those that look like toasters? Come on! Get that thing off the road.

10

This 1980s Ford Capri has the aggressive expression of an Aston Martin. But its 2.0 liter engine does not exactly make it a racer, right? Well, since this is one of the last of its kind, it actually is sort of sexy. Good luck.

9

Since when do shoe boxes have wheels? Mother of God! And what in the hell do you need four-wheel drive for, in Berlin? To climb the ramp to the supermarket parking lot?

8

This is about as sexy as a pretty bad toothache. This so-called “car” should be hidden in a safe garage or become part of some witness protection program.

7

Hey! Get a vehicle which is consistent with the millennium you live in. Get back to the future. Whom are you going to overtake with a damned Cornflakes carton?

6

What are you trying to achieve with that clamp? Do you honestly think anyone would steal a grey rain barrel on wheels? Get this thing out of my sight!

5

Somebody shrunk your number plate. I hope you brought your own nuclear power plant to refill your batteries. Luckily, Lucerne is rather far away.

4

What has the world come to? Are we driving buckets now? By the way: There is an invention called cleaning rag. Try it.

3

Whom are you going to take to the romantic dinner date with this thing? A dead deer?

2

Fire up the scrap metal press! The intern must have designed the ‘Baby Benz’. “Hey, Frank! We need a new model. Design one. You have five minutes.”

1

Now, this is where things get scary. What is this giant rear spoiler doing on this lame Audi? This is about as sexy as an unannounced tax audit at 6:00 a.m. on a Monday morning.