Berlin, November 8th, 2026 (The Berlin Spectator) – One of the Germans’ favorite activities is shaking hands. An average German national probably shakes hands half a million times throughout his or her life. Migrants, expatriates and tourists who want to be part of the herd need to shake everyone’s hand as well.
When leaving an event, shaking everyone’s hand again is the right thing to do. But kissing everyone like the French is not required or welcome. Germans are more reserved in this regard. Many would see that kind of approach as forward and inappropriate.
In the Federal Republic of Germany, the most important thing of them all is separating the garbage. The Germans have a million garbage bins in all colors of the rainbow and they want all of them to be filled the right way. No exceptions. If I accidentally throw my empty Nutella jar into the cardboard and paper bin, I will probably rot in hell. Expats or migrants who join the Germans in their politically correct trash separation endeavor will be rewarded with acceptance. Truckloads of it.
The “Fräulein” Nonsense
Germans have early dinners, at least compared to Spaniards and the French. At 8 p.m., they are ready to watch their mostly weird TV shows, walk around in their underwear and slowly head toward their beds. Do not call them on the phone after 10 p.m. or they will be annoyed for years to come.
“Fräulein, could you show me the way to the airport?” Forget it. There is no Fräulein. Period. That was half a century ago. Women will actually feel offended if addressed that way. And they do have a point here. The emancipation which women and some men have fought for six decades swallowed all of that Fräulein nonsense.
Some nations, including the United States of America, are said to be a little prudish when it comes to nudity. Germans tend to see it in a different light. Many of them love skinny-dipping at beaches and lakes. In saunas, men and women walk around naked together.
Accurate Cliché
Even in certain parks, for instance in Munich, people take their clothes off in summer. Yes, every single item. Just accept it. By the way: It helps not to stare at naked people or they might feel like zoo animals.
Are there more peculiarities in Germany? Absolutely. When a door is closed and people are inside the room, we should knock and wait for an answer before entering. Closed doors do not automatically mean nobody should enter. But knocking is a must. Otherwise you might run into even more embarrassing situations.
Another important aspect: Are Germans punctual? Is this a cliché? Yes, but an accurate one. So, you are invited at 7 p.m., but at 6:55 p.m. you notice you haven’t cut your toenails, taken a shower or ironed your shirt? That’s not good at all. Better call them and apologize in advance for being four hours late. The ground rule: be punctual.
“Sie” and “Du” for Teenage Nerds
In Germany, the most annoying part of them all might be the “Sie” and “Du” stuff. Two young people under the age of 25 will automatically say “Du”. In certain circles, such as among hipsters, party people or in the music biz, “Du” is fine, no matter how wrinkled people are. The drummer of that band you booked may be 102 years old, but he is “Du”. In other situations it would be “Sie”, along with “Herr Last Name” or “Frau Last Name”.
Now, who may drop that “Sie” thing? First you need to know each other a little. Then the person who is obviously older may suggest a move toward “Du”. In business, the higher-ranking person, even if he or she is a 17-year-old nerd who just hired a 70-year-old computer engineer, is the one who can make that kind of suggestion.
Something else: Germans with runny noses, but also other Europeans, blow into their Kleenex as if they wanted to copy the late trumpet hero Maynard Ferguson. But what they generally refrain from doing is spitting on the sidewalk. This is another kind of behavior that offends them.
O.k., respecting manners and the etiquette in Germany is one thing, but it goes both ways. The Germans should respect you too. In case you are being treated in an unfriendly, rude or otherwise inappropriate manner, complain. Ask for the manager if the person you are complaining to responds with the same attitude.
An earlier version of this piece was published on The Berlin Spectator in February of 2019.
