Berlin, November 11th, 2026 (The Berlin Spectator) – Are you ready for the answers to weird questions we have heard in songs for ages? Here we go.
10. Who Let the Dogs Out? (Baha Men)
Since the year 2000, the Bahamian junkanoo band (whatever that may be) have been annoying us with their question: “Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who? Who?” In this noise they created, which they actually call a “song”, this question is being repeated dozens of times. The right answer: “Shut your pie hole and leave us alone.”
9. “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?” (Culture Club)
September 6th, 1982, was a dark day for the world’s Pop music. Culture Club and Boy George should have refrained from writing, performing and releasing this song. Had they never released it, they would have saved us quite a few headaches. Do we really want to hurt you? Nope. We are thankful becaused Boy George released “We Will Dance” again, his recent courageous song that demonstrates solidarity with Israel, the Jews and democracy.
8. “How Deep Is Your Love?” (The Bee Gees)
The Gibb brothers asked us this question in September 1977. It’s about time they got an answer, 49 years later: It’s as deep as the Baltic Sea. If this song had not been the anthem of the late 1970s, we would have ridiculed it. For now, we will just pretend the tune is not cheesy as hell.
7. “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” (Rod Stewart)
On November 10th, 1978, Rod Stewart used his raspy voice to ask this important question. The answer: Definitely not. Who’s next?
6. “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” (The Clash)
What’s wrong with 1982? That year, on September 17th, The Clash felt the inner urge to ask a question too. Our answer: You should go. And take your aggressive Punk tune with you. We’ve been sick of it since you released it.
5. “Have You Ever Seen the Rain?” (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
Guys, your song has been there forever, since December 29th, 1970. Many have interpreted the lyrics, saying they were criticism directed at the Nixon administration and what not, while you say they actually were about the impending breakup of your band, Creedence Clearwater Revival. We don’t give a damn what self-declared experts say. We just like the song. Our answer to the question: Yes, we have.
4. “What Is Love?” (Haddaway)
In January of 1993, just when we thought the tsunami of terrible Pop songs was going to recede, this pretty bad one hit the airwaves. Holy cow! This programmed nonsense song came out of every loudspeaker on this planet. The bad news? It still does. Does Elon Musk still have one-way tickets to Mars? I’ll take one, just to get away from this “song”. So, you want an answer to your question? Try the dictionary.
3. “Do You know the Way to San Jose?” (Dionne Warwick)
Yes, we do. From Oakland, take the Interstate 880. From San Francisco, the I-280 is your route. Thanks, Burt Bacharach.
2. “What’s Love Got to Do with It?” (Tina Turner)
The late Tina Turner asked this question in May of 1984. So, what does love have to do with it? Well, how about everything? Oh, yes, we remember those times when this exceptional artist came up with this one, and when we saw her live in Stuttgart. Quite a gig.
1. “Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?” (from Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”)
How in the hell are we supposed to know? If the universe is infinite, it might be the real life on some versions of our planet and a fantasy on others. Just refrain from asking philosophic questions. Do I look like Socrates?
Bonus question: “Hello! Is it me you’re looking for?” (Lionel Richie)
Yes, Sir. But we like your funky stuff more. Commodores. “Brick House”. Or “All Night Long”.
