June 25th, 2026 (The Berlin Spectator) – Getting old is tough. And being 61 is pretty bad. These are the official top ten reasons why it sucks to be 61:
10
Once you finally found your ticket, the concert you need it for is over. By the way: Have you seen my remote control?
9
Once you think you finally understood what is important in life, it is almost too late to live accordingly.
8
Your dentist has this hopeless and annoyed look on his face when he stares at your pearly whites. Go to hell!
7
That lady at the register, who obviously loves her job more than anything, speaks to you in an extra loud voice, as if you were deaf. By the way: What did she say?
6
Your bodily functions still work, but at the wrong moments. Where is the complaints department? And why can’t I just reset myself to factory settings?
5
At this age, you’ve seen and heard it all. Still, some young smartass always believes he can impress you by telling you stuff you taught him thirty years earlier.
4
You don’t even want to watch movies anymore since they’re all the same. A nice remake? Sure, but you watched the original in 1973.
3
Even though you never wanted to be like your father, you see him more and more when you look into the damned mirror.
2
They keep on telling you to … Wait a second. WTF was the question again?
1
How in the hell am I supposed to know? I’m not 61. Today, I’m 60 years and 359 days old.
