Berlin, July 7th, 2026 (The Berlin Spectator) — Less than three months before the Berlin state elections, parties are starting their campaigns, including the AfD. These are the 10 most appropriate ways to make use of those leaflets the radical, self-proclaimed “Alternative” is giving out.
10
Wrap your break time ham and cheese sandwich in it. But make sure nobody watches you.
9
Check your vehicle’s oil level. AfD leaflets are perfect for cleaning your dipstick.
8
Use the damned thing to clean idiotic graffiti off the Federal Republic’s walls.
7
So, your kitchen chair is wiggling and wobbling while you cut chives and cucumbers for your delicious summer salad? Stabilize the shortest leg by folding one of those leaflets several times and placing it under the damned thing.
6
Is it time to repaint your living room walls since it hasn’t been done since 1981? Make sure to protect your laminate floor by sticking hundreds of AfD leaflets on it with Scotch tape first.
5
Are you an artist or a gifted amateur? Rip up an entire pile of that extremist nonsense. Then, create a piece of art by sticking the tiny pieces to a canvas. Pour some brown paint over it and sell the freakin’ thing to the gallery next door.
4
So, you intend to cut your toenails at the office? Nothing protects the expensive carpet better than a layer of election campaign leaflets worded by racist, anti-democratic and Putin-loving brainiacs.
3
During your next hiking-trip, when you’re lost and cold somewhere in the prairie, light up some radical AfD leaflets in order to make a fire. Now, you can heat up the emergency can of goulash you carried in your backpack since you left.
2
Annoy your arrogant neighbor by stuffing crumpled AfD leaflets into his exhaust pipe. In case he drives an electric vehicle, the SOB is lucky this time. Just stick the trash into some other neighbor’s exhaust.
1
Oh, so your dog pooped right in front of the entrance to the KDW luxury department store on Kurfürstendamm? Damn. Clean it up. Obviously, this is the most appropriate use for AfD leaflets. Cleaning up dog sh*t with printed sh*t somehow makes a lot of sense.
Note: There are lots of things we can wipe with the extremist material those morons print. Use your imagination. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
