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Berlin: The Beauty of a Brand New Airport

In Berlin, the new BER Airport, also known as ‘Flughafen Berlin Brandenburg Willy Brandt’, is almost ready to rumble. It will be opened on Halloween.

A baby conceived today might be born the day that airport outside Berlin finally opens. It will happen in nine months from now, on October 31st, 2020. “Trick or treat?” Well, it is both. The trick is the fact that this time it is for real. Yes, the Germans actually intend to open the airport located in Brandenburg province, just south of Berlin, with a slight delay of nine years. And the treat is the beauty of the new airport.

Overseeable Layout

There are airports and airports. ‘Schönefeld Airport’, which will convert into Terminal 5 of BER Airport in October, is not exactly beautiful. It looks like a shoe box, both from the inside and outside. But compared to José Marti International Airport in Havana, the way it looked in 1982, even ‘Schönefeld’ should become a model for Victoria’s Secret.

Tegel Airport in Berlin, which will be closed on November 8th, 2020, is ugly as hell too. But soon, flight passengers who fly into or out of the Berlin Brandenburg region will do so in style. BER’s Terminal 1 has countless wooden applications, a very nice looking marble floor and an overseeable layout.

It has a lot of room. The lower floor can be seen from the upper one. BER Airport has its own train station and everything our hearts desire. Except the men’s bathroom seemed tiny, with only one urinal and one regular toilet. Well, they probably have some larger rest rooms hidden somewhere.

Volunteers Wanted

Once thing is certain: BER Airport, maybe except for Terminal 5, will be well connected, with its own ‘FEX’ (‘Flughafen Express’) train. Try to say or spell ‘FEX’ on a bad phone line. Lots of misunderstandings are a foregone conclusion. “So, you want to be on the sex train?” The other person will say: “No, it’s the ‘FEX’ train. F – E – X.”

For now, BER Airport does not need any new name for its own train, but 20,000 volunteers. They will be testing the airport and all processes before the first real passengers enters it. On the website ber-testen.de, those who cannot wait to see BER Airport can register starting right now. There is one catch: The volunteers should read and speak German.

The first scenario volunteers will test in April is an evacuation of BER’s train station. More test of all kinds will be taking place between June 23rd and October 15th, two weeks before the opening. In many cases, the airport’s helpers will be passengers who check in their luggage. They will receive a public transport ticket each, snacks, drinks, and a sneak preview of the most sexy airport on Earth.

‘Come Fly With Me’

“The test operation is an internationally established standard which will help us to open BER as smoothly as possible”, Professor Engelbert Lütke Daldup, the CEO of ‘Flughafen Berlin Brandenburg GmbH’, the airport’s operator, said on Monday. The systems would be tested and key processes rehearsed, he stated.

Frank Sinatra sang ‘Come Fly With Me’ in 1958, when flying was still a nice experience.

Come fly with me, will float down to Peru
In llama-land there’s a one-man band
And he’ll toot his flute for you
Come on fly with me, we’ll float down in the blue

Well, Berlin does not have direct flights to Peru or to most other exotic destinations abroad, also because Frankfurt Airport is Germany’s main hub. But there is hope. BER Airport might lead to more direct connections, at least to North America and Asia. But coming back home to Brandenburg or Berlin will be even nicer than “flying away” the way Sinatra did, because BER Airport is so pretty. (See video at top of this page)

By the way: The publication you are reading, The Berlin Spectator, was established in January of 2019. We have worked a whole lot, as you can see. But there has hardly been any income. This is something we urgently need to change. Would you consider contributing? We would be very thankful. Our donations page can be found here.